Embers of the Month {September}

This is my monthly recap series. It's a simple list of things that I wrote about or stumbled upon throughout the month. It's just a chance to catch up and breathe before the new month begins.

What I did: became a zombie for a few hours, walked around SPARKcon
What I celebrated: Punky Brewster and Bigbad Dad and Grande and Smallgood Granny's birthdays (no more September babies, please)
What I read: The Lady & the Unicorn, Island of the Blue Dolphins (re-read), All Other Nights
What I recommended: Moroccan oil (to tame the frizz)
What I heard: Nina Simone...What more can I say? and Carolina Chocolate Drops
What I ate: Czech food and tacoroni
What I listened to: Mumford & Sons because they remind me of these mountains I love.

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Smoke Stacks: Ed McKay Used Books

It's no secret that I love books, so a great book store had to make my list of places I love in Raleigh.  Ed McKay is actually in a few NC cities, but I've only been to the Raleigh location.

Between Ed McKay and our independent book store, I'm a very happy camper.  I never consider the two stores in competition with one another.  I go to our indie to listen to authors speak and have them sign my book.  I go to our indie when I have a clear idea of something I want to buy.  I go to our indie to support local business and authors.

But I go to Ed McKay when I have a few hours and feel like digging around for a rare gem.

All of the books at Ed McKay are nestled into old crates stacked on one another.  It's precarious.  It's thrilling. It oozes vintage.

The staff likes to play indie music-- never anything I can identify and probably something on vinyl.  You'd expect a used book store to have a horrible music selection.  There's milk crates of records and a long display of CDs.  Yes, you'll find the one hit wonder guys and really cheesy crap, but they also have worthy selections to add to your music archive.  I found Bright Eyes, Death Cab for Cutie, and She & Him albums on my last trip along with a compilation album of local artists and a Ray LaMontagne album for Bigbad.

The official name of the business is Ed McKay Used Books & More.  And really, the "& more" part shouldn't be ignored.  Besides music, they have DVDs, VHS, board games, video games, game systems, e-readers, calculators, ipods, tablets, audio books, novelty toys, t-shirts, snacks and beverages, etc.

The best of all, whenever Bigbad and I have duplicates of books/movies or we're ready to purge stuff, we take it to Ed McKay first for trade credit.  We haven't had to purchase a used book in years because we get so much credit from them.  I like the idea of unleashing books in the used book store to be found by the "right" person.

There is a younger, hipper community at Ed McKay than the independent bookstore.  It's a community and culture that I'm happy exists in Raleigh (even if I don't know what the hell it is they are playing on the stereo) because they keep adding to my to-read pile of books on the nightstand without my needing to open my wallet.

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On my Mind: Reconnecting

One item on my 30 Before 30 list was to reconnect with an old friend. A few circumstances fell into my lap that had me feeling like I was sitting pretty, but the dichotomy of the delivery method for the communication was interesting to me.  One friend I had lost touch with added me as a Facebook friend and there were a few messages passed back and forth, but I was so passive in the process that I couldn't simply cross off that item from my list and call it a day.  Another friend wrote me a letter, a little note I kept tucked in my bag for a week as I mulled over exactly how I would condense a decade of life into a return message.

All this led me to consider how we really go about reconnecting.  Is it just a pouring out of personal information, exchanging pleasantries, adding them to a holiday letter list?  Can you reconnect without the physical presence?  Is technology more of a hindrance or aid in reconnecting with friends?

Here's others' thoughts on reconnecting:

• Letter writing:  These women wrote and spoke about the power and joy in letters and the ability for letters to transcend time and reconnect people even after death.  
• Power down:  Discover the skill and art of an actual conversation.  Pay attention to the people you are spending time with.
• Power up:  Yes, while contradictory to the previous statement.  Technology can offer some closeness. This woman argues we are more than ever intimately drawn to our inner circle.

I'll hedge my bets and attempt any action that brings old friends close again. Making excuses is easy and convenient, but they don't sustain friendship.  Not that I want to turn into Jim Carrey in Yes Man, but I decided if I'm receiving invitations I'm going to accept.  I'm not the most social person (Bigbad is far more social than I am).  I am unabashedly a homebody, but so far I haven't regretted an evening with friends even if I hadn't been looking forward to it before I left my house.  I'm attempting to put in the work that maintains friendship, that fosters friendship, that is open to new friends so that I don't have to do the work of reconnecting later on. 

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Review: Raleigh Czech Restaurant

It's not everyday that Bigbad comes home and says, "I have a new restaurant for us to check out. It's Czech. Get it? Czech out." It's not everyday Bigbad is as punny as I am.  But seriously?  A Czech restaurant in Raleigh.  Yeah, we're so there.  I'm totally an armchair tourist-- traveling the world through books and documentaries (since we are poor grad students).  So I'm down for a little hometown traveler experience.

This place is literally a hole in the wall. Without the sign in the smack dab middle of the sidewalk, I would have had a muggle moment of glancing right by the place. But inside, inside it's very tasteful. I loved the wood farm tables and neutral colors. Bigbad first came for lunch during a heavy rainstorm.  He felt a bit underdressed, but he said the staff was more than welcoming.

We had Smallgood Marmie tag along which ended up being a blast because we had another person to order something different for sampling.

I really wanted to try Devil's Toast as an appetizer, but our waitress commented that it only came with two pieces of toast.  Who the conundrum since there were three of us.  So we ordered the Devil's Toast and marinated brie.  The toast was fantastic.  It reminded me of our Polish Mistakes since it was bread topped with a beef mixture and roasted veggies (mushrooms and peppers) and melted cheese.  Seriously good.

I went with a traditional Czech dish of pan seared kielbasa.  It has me ruined for all other kielbasa.  Ruined.  It was so tender and sweet.  The outside had a caramelized crisp to it.  My mouth is seriously watering just looking at this image.

Marmie and Bigbad didn't order traditional Czech entrees. Marmie had Moravian Chicken with peach and ham gratin and cheese.  She said it was delightful.  I had a small bite and the chicken was cooked fabulously.  Juicy and tender.  I don't usually order chicken because I'm afraid it will be bland and dry, but this was just perfect.  Bigbad got beef stroganov.  Y'all know what that looks like.

For dessert, Bigbad had a shot of plum Schnapps.  Marmie and I devoured warm raspberries with vanilla ice cream.  Could not get enough of it (which may explain why there is no photo of the dessert before we began digging in).

It wasn't cheap, but I think this may be a gem that we visit again for celebrating special occasions.

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On the nightstand: All Other Nights by Dara Horn

I've noticed I'm very perceptive toward Jewish literature (I suppose I have a literary Jewdar).  I read a fair amount of Jewish fiction every year, sometimes so much that I have to consciously choose other things to read.

When I saw the copy of All Other Nights at the library, I checked it out.  I couldn't help it:  Jewish literature set in the US during the Civil War.  Heck yes!

The first several chapters had me hooked.  It was a relentless pace of Is this guy really going to kill his uncle?  Seriously?  Isn't he going to be caught?  No way is he really going to marry a woman who is a leader of a Confederate spy ring.  Seriously?  Does he love her?  Seriously?

Seriously.  Union soldier, Jacob, is pushed into a role that has him saving the union from a plot to kill Lincoln by killing his uncle over Passover dinner and then marrying a Confederate spy.  I liked the star-crossed lovers motif.  And I liked that the entire novel could have changed at any point had the characters reverted to honesty.

The pace lags after the newlyweds are separated and news of Jacob's wife's death is reported, but I can appreciate that Horn slips into telling a very believable story.  She still includes probably a few too many coincidences for my liking (during the last few chapters), but Jacob does not leave the war unscathed.  Yes, he was going to have the psychological scars, but thankfully Horn also writes him with physical wounds.  Sadly, it's refreshing to read a novel that includes a main character who isn't consistently dashing, handsome, wealthy, and lucky.

There isn't an excess of Jewish religion infused in the book.  There is some, concerning cemeteries and the wedding, and a dear scene of Jacob speaking to an elderly man who talks of the metaphors of war in life.  I wish Horn had explored more the issues involving shame, isolation, and kinship of the Jews in the story.  She touches upon it when Jacob is sent to the Western front, and while the plot limps along at that point, Jacob becomes a more dynamic character of revelation and change.

The ending was not particularly surprising, but I do like that it's a bit interpretive.  

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Smoke Stacks: SPARKcon

Many folks in the Triangle area look to Durham as the hub of arts, and the Bull City is the location for many artists.  I'm glad Durham is getting a positive reputation for the community of art they are creating and attracting.

But I'm also happy that one of my favorite annual art festivals has its home base in Raleigh.  Raleigh isn't just government workers.  We've got lots of ideas about producing art too.  SPARKcon is a convention for fostering creativity.  Their website mentions the mission of SPARKcon is to "showcase, celebrate and influence the creative momentum of the Triangle region of North Carolina."

A map of Raleigh on the street downtown.  People were encouraged to grab a colored block that indicated their mode of transportation to the event and place it on their neighborhood.

Since the focus is on creativity and not any single artistic medium, there are several genres (or sparks) of SPARKcon.  There's fashionSPARK, poetrySPARK, tastySPARK, musicSPARK, ideaSPARK, geekSPARK, etc.  There are so many different facets that everyone attending will find something that resonates with them, something that they can interact with, something that becomes their muse.

What I think you'll notice in the pictures is the variety of experiences, and how inclusive the event is.  It has roots in the urban and green movements, so there are nods to those ideals.  But the event is truly a reflection of this city and its people.  The goods, the art, the music, the apparel, the food all reflects Raleigh and what I love about it.  SPARKcon is the chance to be in this city that I love and not only celebrate the creativity of others, but have the chance to leave my imprint on the city.

 A former Bigbad professor was in charge of filmSPARK which was hosting an Inigo Montoya impression contest in honor of The Princess Bride's 25th anniversary.

The gal singing "Jolene" was a student at a school I volunteer at.  I guarantee she'd win American Idol if she tried out, but she has time to make it big.  She's still so young.

Organizers were using string to match folks up who wanted a skill with those who had the knowledge.

 

Impossible to read, but each sticker on this building under development reads, "I wish this was..." The responses range from Hogwarts to graffiti to a free health clinic to a westbound train.

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Anniversary Gift Ideas {Year 40}

I'm not really a fan of red.  I'm not sure why.  I like different hues of it.  I like burgundies and cranberries.  I like a dusty rose.  I just don't love the bold-pow-in-your-face reds.

Maybe as I age, I'll appreciate reds.  Maybe the more our relationship matures, I will be drawn to the deep intense tones of ruby.  Or not.

card // red hot candy // hair comb // red glass salt & pepper shakers // shoes // Kaiser Chiefs cd (or any song with "ruby")// anything wrapped with a big red bow // red wine & red meat // bracelet

Click on the link for other years.

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Renaissance Festival

Besides the mash up and unclear distinction of Middle Ages and Renaissance culture (does Medieval Faire not sound as cool?), I love the Renaissance Festival.  For me, the Ren Fest is like Walt Disney world-- rides, characters, overpriced souvenirs, and amazing food.

Yep, it's a grungy, geeky theme park.

But it's also a full-immersion experience.  As a kid, I was inspired to write a story about a young girl from a small (and likely filthy) village who didn't believe in magic.  The scenery of thatched roofs and the smells of sweat, beer, and grease were ripe in my mind.  They were going to enhance my writing and make it really come alive.  Heck, I may still write the story.

We love the Nickel Shakespeare Girls.  The trio will perform bits from any Shakespeare play.  They have wit, humor, and even some gymnastics chops.  They are a total riot.

I'm an uber dork and want to watch A Knight's Tale now after seeing these photos.  Anyone with me?

Who doesn't love a good joust?  Especially when the knight you cheer for is declared victor.  Huzzah!

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On the nightstand: The Lady and the Unicorn by Tracy Chevalier

You've heard of Tracy Chevalier already, author of Girl with the Pearl Earring. The Lady and the Unicorn is a very similar novel giving space to a fictional back story to the creation of beautiful tapestries.  I don't mind Chevalier's writing though her voice isn't as strong and resonating to me as some historical fiction authors.  

But her characters are hardly likable.  I understand the time period predetermines some of the outcome for characters, and peasants are going to have a more grim outlook and live grittier lives.  That doesn't mean though that no characters should be likable.  It's hard to care about plot when you have no characters to root for.  (To be fair, there is one character who is worthy.  She gains strength and voice as the novel continues.  But it's hard for one character alone to carry a novel).

Our main protagonist, Nicolas the artist/painter commissioned to design the tapestries was a bit difficult for me to believe.  He was driven by sexual desires nearly entirely; however, he shows tender moments of legitimate friendship? love? towards the weaver's daughter.  Before reading half the novel, I was hoping Patti would take him on as a client in the Millionaire Club and help him make better picks for mates.  P.S. There is plenty of discussion of sex (and at least one scene of the act).

The multiple narration falls a little flat when we don't get the story first hand from the most developed characters (I think the story could have been more rich had it been told exclusively from the servants or working class).  The characters she chose to narrate didn't have as much at stake in the novel and could have been left as secondary characters.

The plot and story was fine.  I enjoyed watching the process of the tapestries from concept to hanging.  Something in the novel kept me reading however there was no true surprise throughout the work and sadly no transformation of characters which left this as just a mediocre read for me.

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I love him for his brains

Zombies don't start out gory and ugly. They start out kind of cute.

But then they turn ugly.

Saturday was a chance for me to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Once upon a time I had a zombie attack plan, an idea of how to defend against the zombie horde.  I was going to go all bomb-shelter or Y2K style with enough supplies to keep us fed and fight off the buggers.  Basically, my plan involved a lot of martial arts weapons and cans of tuna.

I decided it was lousy and not realistic.  I mean, if you're going to make a zombie attack plan it needs to be realistic folks.  Instead of improving upon the plan and making it better, I had a Calvinist revelation that I was predestined not to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.  It made me depressed of course, but then the joy of resolution set in:  If you can't beat them, join them!

So I prepared my joining of the zombie ranks by volunteering as a zombie for a Zombie Escape Mud Run.  Bigbad, Grande, and my bestie joined me because if you have to be a zombie, it's best to be zombies with your best buds.  (Bite them first!)

Zombie hair by me; photo by Gary Quesenberry

After 5k runners ran through muddy fields and stumpy forest paths and swam through ponds of grossness and climbed a hill, they came to a small clearing of zombies.  We got to "infect" the runners by tearing off their flags from their belts.  Some people are quite theatrical with spins, jumps, and tumbling.  Maybe they'll survive.  Maybe not; having to expend that much energy with somersaults and screaming might tap you out for just a hard-core bulldozing to get through the gang of zombies that want your brains.

Been there. Done that.  Got the t-shirt.

And for the runners that had me and Bestie pose for a picture and were fascinated by the rotting flesh makeup (so sad I didn't think to stand on the other side where you could see it in the pictures), liquid latex is the craziest stuff ever.

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Verses on Sunday: "Rings" by George Ella Lyon

Every girl I'm sure has moments, precious moments of sifting through her mother's jewelry box that play out with blurred edges and veiled nostalgia in her memory.  And if not, then we need to rectify this now.  Not because I want every little girl to have a Pretty Pretty Princess moment or learn at an early age to indulge in commercialism or the assumption that women fantasize over jewelry.  No, I want every girl to hear from her own mother the stories of pieces that have been kept.

I discovered this ring in a jewelry box at some point.  I cannot recall how old I was when I found it.  Maybe it was during my own wedding planning and that is why a simple gold band would have caught my eye.

This was my grandmother's wedding ring.  She was married in the 40's.

That alone would have intrigued me, but I picked it up and let the magic take over like a rip tide.  The ring fits me perfectly.  It's a crazy cliche, but it fit like a glove.

The band is so thin that I doubt it would have fit me new.  I can imagine as years wore it down, the ring becoming looser on my grandmother's finger, even spinning a bit.

The sides are covered in infinities of filigree.  I wonder if she liked the design or simply loved the man who put it on her finger.

I never met this grandmother.  She passed away long before my parents were married.  But I wear her ring sometimes.  It's beautiful to me and it echos of something greater than myself.  Its fragility, its endurance mirror qualities in a marriage.  I need to hold these truths close to my heart.

I can't say what will happen with this ring.  I fear wearing it daily because of the paper thin quality.  But I hope I get to tell a daughter of my own one day who it belonged to and what it stood for.

I found I had a lot to say about this after reading Lyon's poem "Rings."

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On my nightstand: The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

During World Book Night, Smallgood Co-worker and I met some folks who were giving out Alexie's The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian to a reader's group in a detention facility. Because our organization also works in a similar setting, I decided to read the book. To sum up the experience: Alexie just can't miss. He's on fire.

The first comparison that has to be made is to House on Mango Street.  They are both coming of age novels written in a vignette style.  Personally, I think TATDOAPTI eclipses House.  It's funny.  It's deep.  It's relevant.  It's endearing.  House on Mango Street is obviously those things as well, but sometimes Cisneros' writing is caught up in symbolism whereas Alexie's episodes are direct, understandable, and poignant.  TATDOAPTI's Arthur deals with growing pains of any teen, and like Esperanza, his are compounded by being an outsider, by being a minority, by being seen as an "other."  Change, puberty, poverty, high school, girls, fighting, drinking, death, friendship are all issues that Arthur addresses head-on with honesty and humor.

Yes, there is dialogue of metaphorical and real boners.  The language is sure to grab a younger audience (same as Shakespeare's lines about long swords and country matters).  I would tell any parent/teacher concerned that this is not a sexually charged book by any means.  Alexie just lays it out like it is for teens.  Derogatory words (not just slurs against Indians/First Nations) are also sprinkled throughout.  Again, very true-to-life dialogue that teens use these days.  It allows for a discussion about appropriate language and why we may use name-calling and labels for our friends.

This book is such a beautiful piece.  When you can encapsulate so much anger and depression and still offer laughter, you've created a beautiful book.  I keep using the word beautiful.  In an odd way the book reminds me of the movie American Beauty.  Thankfully the stakes aren't quite so high in TATDOAPTI.  The book takes itself far less seriously and I always got the impression that Arthur believed in himself-- even in the darkest times I never felt he was desperate or alone or utterly miserable.  He needed to make a list of reminders for why his life wasn't shit, but I didn't need them.

This book invigorated me, made me proud of the next generation coming up, made me so happy to have the life I have and the friends I have.  All of that is too cheesy to write in a book review though.  The book didn't change my life, just made me happy that books like this exist in my life.

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Smoke Stacks: Sushi Thai

I wanted to start a new blog series for the Hearth of my favorite spots in town. I'm coming around to the idea that I do love this city. Partly, I am making strong associations and happy memories in this town. Other times this is a very conscious act to love this place and to see its worth.

Raleigh isn't a city with a whole lot of charm.  Its history isn't entirely pronounced and apparent.  But it is my town.  So the Smoke Stacks series (doesn't the title remind you of Mary Poppins?) won't be anything overly dramatic and enchanting, just places around town I find a bit homey, a bit comfortable, just a bit special.

The first I wanted to share with you was our favorite sushi restaurant.  My first date with Bigbad was at a sushi restaurant (now a Boston Market...psh).  I remember my first taste and being less than excited.  But you know what moms everywhere say, "Give it another try/try it at least three times."  I'm coming around gradually to more and more of it.  But I still really prefer the rolls that are more Americanized.  Yep, I'm one of those people.  But don't judge too harshly, I do try new things due to Bigbad's more adventurous palate and I'm really wanting to make some beet sushi at home.

Our favorite place to go right now is Sushi Thai-- like a lot of sushi joints in Raleigh it's the sort of hole in the wall place in an otherwise overlooked shopping center.  It isn't loungey.  It isn't a club.  It isn't the scene.  And it isn't on Glenwood South.

I do enjoy the decor though.  Some thought was put into some traditional architectural elements and Buddha wall feature.  I adore the shadow box wood carved tables.  I like to make up stories about the scenes captured.

I'm seven years old and love sitting next to the aquarium and making fish faces and Nemo jokes.  I plan on never growing up.

I don't recall ever ordering anything Thai from the menu, but Tempest Mermaid has had the Pad Thai.  And Bigbad Mama has tried something off the Thai side (soup maybe?).  I do appreciate that they always ask how spicy you'd like the food prepared.

Our favorite appetizer is the Gyoza Cream Lime.  I dream of this dish.  It's just heavenly.  It's as if an Italian married a Japanese chef and gave birth to this culinary offspring.  The creamy sauce isn't heavy on the tummy or taste buds and has just a hint of the lime in its name.  It's adorned with some chopped mushrooms.  Bigbad and I are often scraping up every bit of this dish and licking our fingers and chopsticks.  That's probably bad form.  Oh well.

Notice how Bigbad couldn't be bothered to stop eating for this picture.  It was sizzling and smelled so good.  I don't blame him.

Sushi Thai has the BOGO deals on sushi rolls every night.  Buy one and get one free.  Every. Night. And these aren't skimpy rolls folks.  They aren't the best I've ever eaten (far far far from the worst though), but they are a great deal and hit the spot when two clowns on a college like budget want some sushi.

What's your favorite restaurant in your town?  What do you order?

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